2002-12-4: Days for Me, Days for You

Today hits heavily, like a load of bricks upon my back. It has been a good day, no depression has befallen me, but it has been a day. If you do not understand, continue reading.

It was one of those days where life seems strange, almost foreign, like you're a stranger journying through another country and you have no right to be there. You move normally, doing what you normally do, and yet you feel eyes upon your back and a voice in your ear whispering, "Stranger!"

It was one of those days where everything haunts you, past decisions are reminded, forgotten images resurface, and words seem false. Everything you speak seems to come from someone else, somewhere else. They make no sense and seem ungenuine to your own ears. You speak French to the Spanish and Spanish to the English. No one understands you.

I'm not saying that it's one of those days where you are misunderstood all day, it's one of those days where you don't make sense. Even to yourself.

It was one of those days no one should ever have to suffer through. Where doubt lingers in the back of your mind but you do not know what you are doubting. Where everything is going well and you feel intense dread rising to meet you. Every ringing of the phone brings a sigh of frustration and every word you type seems to be spelled wrong. You have not failed but you think everything is wrong.

It is just an average day with average occurances and you sit there wondering why you're sitting there.

It's a day for me, a day for you, a day for all...if we can make it through.