2004-6-24: mOnkey a.k.a. O, Monkey!

I feel it. It is sitting beside me, whispering in my ear. The tears are waiting.

I need to run into the joy that is standing in the distance but I am easily rerouted to the depression that is always closer.

Shouldn't I be happy? I was earlier. I knew I should have written a journal entry when I was feeling joyous. Oh well.

The friend I lost in the fog of anger,
The days I spent in the wells of despair,
The darkness I welcomed with open arms,
The sin I adored with all its charms,
The person who wanders the dark night alone,
The place where the sun has never shone,
I sit here and think of how invisible I feel,
And there is no one here to help me deal.

The shadows that mask the hidden tears,
The laughter that fails to remove the fears,
The spite that fills my soul so completely and well,
The trap that I set and, by my own stupidity, fell,
The sorrow that stands waiting for me to return,
The pain that makes my stomach always turn,
It shouldn't be so common, it shouldn't be my friend,
Yet loyal it remains, at my side until the bitter end.

I am alone...